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21 Jul It also increases the age at first marriage and lowers fertility rates, Henrich found. He suggests that's one reason polygamy was outlawed in Japan in , in in China, and in in India, for most religious groups. But the welfare of children living in today's polyamorous households won't be. 5 Jan Readers share their flings, affairs, three-ways, etc, in the context of monogamish relationships. For the first five years of my marriage, everything was great: lots of sex, both GGG, lots of love. Now he can hook up safely with guys and come home to a loving wife with whom he can be completely honest. Players, tire kickers and married men generally don't want to pay out cash to partake in lascivious affairs and insincere tomfoolery. No matter what you're looking for—casual hookups, marriage, polyamory, relationships with men, relationships with women, a little bit of everything—OkCupid can accommodate. Two factors.

Why do most people assume that all nonmonogamous relationships are destined to fail? Because we only hear about the ones that do. If a three-way or an affair has played a Polyamory Married And Hookup Serious Affairs in a divorce or breakup, we hear all about it. But we rarely hear from happy couples who aren't monogamous, because they don't want to be perceived as dangerous sex maniacs who are destined to divorce.

This state of affairs—couples who experimented with nonmonogamy and wound up divorced won't shut up, while couples who experimented with nonmonogamy and are still together won't speak up—allows smug and insecure monogamists to run around insisting that there's no such thing as happy, stable monogamish couples. The response was overwhelming—I may do a book—and I'm turning over the rest of this week's column to their stories.

My husband and I have issues like any couple, but I still smile when I see him walk into a room, and he still takes my hand when we're walking down the street.

For the past seven years, we have been "monogamish. When I actually saw him "in the moment," I didn't have the jealous feelings I had always feared. There is no question that our relationship is our first priority, but just the possibility of a little strange now and then makes him feel like a stud. And I reap the benefits! I don't much care for sex without emotion and affection, so my flings have been rather limited. We haven't told our families or more than a couple of friends. I don't see more to deal with the judgment of others.

For the first five years of my marriage, everything was great: Then my wife's libido failed. Whatever the problem was, she couldn't articulate it. After a year where we'd had sex twice, I reached out to someone else. I used Craigslist and I was honest: I explained that I had no intention of leaving my wife and Polyamory Married And Hookup Serious Affairs I was looking for someone in a situation similar to mine.

It took months to find the right person.

We struck up a years-long affair. At the same time, I had a read more marriage.

Then, after nearly four years, a strange thing happened: To this day, she can't explain why it left or why it came back.

With the reason for my affair gone, I ended things with my fuck buddy. And you know what? Years of honest talk made this easy. She Polyamory Married And Hookup Serious Affairs we went our separate ways. So I had a four-year affair without getting caught.

Here's how I pulled it off: I never told anyone about it, I chose a partner who wanted exactly what I wanted, we didn't film ourselves as hot as that soundedwe used condoms, I kept my computer clear of any evidence, and we never called or texted each other.

My husband and I are monogamish but also LMGs—legally married gays. We feel tremendous pressure to be perfect. The thing is, we are perfect. We love each other, we support each other, and we have amazing sex with each other—and the occasional cameo performer, who is always treated with respect. We have a rule about not inviting someone into our bedroom who we wouldn't be friends with outside the bedroom. That said, the fact that Ron and Nancy down the street are swingers will raise eyebrows, but it won't impact the perceived legitimacy of mixed-gender marriage.

Even other gays get judgmental. So, at least for now, our monogamishness is on a strictly need-to-know basis. And who needs to know? Just our sex-positive doctor and the occasional hot third who gets a golden ticket into our bedroom.

Polyamory Married And Hookup Serious Affairs

I agree with you that we rarely hear about successful marriages that are open. How do I know? I just discovered that my parents are swingers—and they've been married for 26 years!

Polyamorous success stories | Savage Love | Chicago Reader

My husband, almost exactly ten years older than me, confessed a cuckold fetish to me shortly before our fifth anniversary. I said no, but a seed was planted: Five years later, my boyfriend of two years, who happens to be exactly ten years younger than me, was one of the guests at our ten-year anniversary party.

7 Dating Sites For Married People — Who Want To Cheat Or Are Polyamorous | YourTango

Here boyfriend is a good-looking grad student who adores me and values my husband's advice about his education and career plans. He treats my husband with the perfect blend of affection and contempt "Gratitude and attitude," my boyfriend calls it.

I enjoy my boyfriend, but I love my husband more than ever. My husband isn't allowed to have sex with other women he doesn't want to, anywayand he's not allowed to have sex with me without my boyfriend's permission which he usually—though not always—gets.

In my opinion, Match. Click to view 12 images. I agree with you that we rarely hear about successful marriages that are open. Do the research, figure out how to talk to her about it, keep talking evenif all you say is I'm confused and working to figure it out. Can you guess what these celebs weigh?

Our families would be appalled. We simply don't live in a part of the country, or move in social circles, where we could be honest about any of this with anyone. From the outside, my husband and I look like a boring vanilla married couple. In fact, people have included me in judgmental conversations about open relationships. But the truth is, for nearly as long as we've been together three-plus yearswe've had a semi-open relationship.

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My husband is bi. When he told me after a few months of dating, years of Savage Love reading helped me to keep an open mind. Now he can hook up safely with guys and come home to a loving wife with whom he can be completely honest. I'm a happily married woman. Maybe it's cowardly of us, but no matter how simple our relationship seems to us, the people we care about wouldn't understand.

Polyamory Married And Hookup Serious Affairs

Yes, we do this with our husbands' blessing. We even double-date from time to time! No, there's nothing lacking in our marriages. Our parents, relatives, children, friends, and coworkers know we're close. But I don't see the need to tell anyone the entire truth. I was on the fence about sending this e-mail—that's how little fuss we make about it. Then I thought, if I do send it, and if enough people send their stories, maybe one day we can go public and it won't be a big fucking deal.

Savage Lovenonmonogamous relationshipspolyamoryflingsaffairsthree-waysswingingopen relationshipsmonogamishthreesomest. Showing 1- 7 of 7. Switch to the mobile version of this page. Shows this week Early Warnings: Concerts on horizon Browse Film Film home page J. Showing 1- 7 of 7 Add a comment.

She's since learned the language polyamory and wants to make a good faith effort to meet her needs in a way that respects your relationship by being open and honest. Anyone who's cheated and I have in a past relationship, and no I don't feel good about it in any way shape or form was able to justify the experience, at least at the time, based on the circumstances surrounding the experience. There may be times when you will feel insecure, jealous, and hurt; this does not mean that your relationship is failing, and it is not wrong, bad, or irrational for you to feel this way. More to the point, continue reading can enrich your life. The monogamous partner in a polyamorous relationship faces a considerable challenge.

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