Tao of Dating Mailbag #1: Can the world handle your fabulousness, girl?
The Tao Of Dating by Alex Benzer
I'm your host, Chip August, and today on the show we are going to be talking about the Tao of dating. We're going to be talking about a smart woman's guide to embracing her inner goddess and to finding her fulfillment, 'cause we're talking to Dr. Alex Benzer, who's the author of the just released The Tao of Dating: The. How to be successful with women and dating. Spiritual dating, meeting quality women, guide for the thinking man. 8 Aug “I met this guy, and he took me to dinner, and it was really romantic, but he did/ didn't try to kiss me, then he called/didn't call back, then he asked/didn't ask me out again, and what does it all mean is he interested what should I do help help help.” Now, many of you think I have magical powers. And it's.
Now, many of you think I have magical powers. And it's absolutely true.
For example, I can make whole plates of pasta vanish in seconds and order beer in 12 languages. However, reading the minds of your dates whom I have never seen nor met is not one of those powers.
I missed that boat of psychic ability. Additionally, trying to parse each individual situation for an ultimate answer doesn't work so well, because there are millions of situations and often no ultimate answer. However, just a few reliable principles can solve a whole bunch of problems. I've found the following five principles pretty handy.
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They form the backbone of the Tao of Dating book for women and menand here they are:. Do you see scarcity, lack and limitation around you, or wealth, possibility and abundance? The mindset you choose bears directly upon the success of your love life and your success in general.
Big-heartedness and self-sufficiency, on the other hand, work much better. Even the Bible has something to say about that: Seems kind of mean, but it's just the way of the world: So even if you don't have a companion, act as if there is an unlimited supply of what you want available to you already.
And you know what? Because even if only one thousandth of one percent of the 6. That's enough dates to tide you over for a whole month.
This one has three words in it. Short-sighted decisions - e. To be able to take care of anyone else, you need to take care of you first.
The Tao of Dating: 5 Principles to Overcome Any Challenge in Your Love Life
Simple, totally non-negotiable, and often neglected. If a relationship is making you miserable and unhappy - like that of my friend Holly who was being put down and punched up by the man she was supporting financially - consider ending it. Because fulfillment is a feeling, not a person. So if you're not getting fulfilling feelings in a relationship, chances are you're with the wrong person.
If you're breathing and have a heartbeat and just read this phrase, billions of things changed in your mind and body right now. Get used to the idea that it just doesn't matter. Chris rated it it was ok May 01, From the right beliefs will flow the right actions, or te the middle word from Tao Te Ching naturally and effortlessly, from which will come right results.
Many people think like this: The proper sequence is: Successful change begins at the level of identity and belief, so first, be the kind of person you want to be. From the right beliefs will flow the right actions, or te the middle word from Tao Te Ching naturally and effortlessly, from which will come right results.
The Taoists say that two poles are necessary for energy to flow: We see this in nature: This is especially true of human relations. Without polarity, relationships fall flat, whether in heterosexual or same-sex couples: As a man, if you take on too much yin, you risk turning into an indecisive wimp, which is not necessarily appealing to women.
Well wait, wait, lets talk, okay, so flaky I got… Dr. And I found that as a scientist a lot of truths converge, and so there was convergence between the scientific and the Taoist truths. This in turn helps preserve books, improve maps, and solve hard AI problems.
Having an open heart is great; just remember to keep your spine also. As a woman, if you take on too much yang, you risk turning into a facsimile of a guy, which may be admirable but not necessarily attractive.
Strength is great, but remember that femininity is what draws in the masculine. Recently a very intelligent woman wrote to tell me she couldn't date guys who were less smart than her, because they bored her. And when she finally found a guy who was smarter than her, she found herself competing with him and putting him down out of insecurity, thereby driving him away. Basically, she could not win.
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So much pain in dating is self-inflicted and has to do with upholding our own importance or appeasing the ego. Therefore I link state here without proof that there is no greater waste of your energy than upholding your own importance. Get used to the idea that it just doesn't matter. The Buddhists have this nifty concept called anattaor no-self. It basically means that nothing in the universe has a fixed identity - especially you.
If you're breathing and have a heartbeat and just read this phrase, billions of things changed in your mind and body right now. So you're fundamentally not the same you were five seconds ago, let alone five years ago. So quit trying to defend something that essentially isn't there. Whether or not you fully buy into this concept, it's a handy notion: You're also continue reading likely to be kind, compassionate, and fun to be around.
When you practice anattaall the energy that was used for judgment, competition and defensiveness can now be used for a better purpose: Waiting for the world to arrange its circumstances perfectly to allow you to start loving, to paraphrase Ramana Maharshi, is like wanting to cover the world in leather so you can walk barefoot. It is much simpler to wear shoes. The time The Tao Of Dating By Dr Alex Benzer love is always now.
So if your best thinking got you here, perhaps it's time to start something new: Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. I get many letters like this from readers both male and female: They form the backbone of the Tao of Dating book for women and menand here they are: The Be-Do-Have paradigm vs. Get out of your own way. Ali Binazir on Twitter: This Blogger's Books and Other Items from The Tao of Dating: Go to mobile site.